What Schedule?

It seems as parents, we spend a great deal of time working on schedules.
With a newborn, there really isn’t any schedule, you are up when your baby is up, you feed them when they want it, you change them when they need it – basically they are running the show. We spend a lot of time during this stage wishing we could get our little ones on a schedule and questioning if it ever will happen?

Slowly, but surely, somewhat of a routine starts to appear (partially on your part and partially because your baby is ready for it). I remember that period of time and I was so thankful when naps started to happen more regularly as well as feedings, but it sure was a lot of work to get there. Now, every family has their own way of doing things, a close friend of mine always had their little one play, eat and then nap, where we had our little guy eat, play and then nap. There is no right or wrong way – it is just whatever works for you. Getting the napping on track was extremely difficult for me but one book that I read on sleeping habits had some great advice – get that first nap down pat and then worry about the others. I found this so helpful as I stressed about getting H’s naps all worked out right away and therefore neither of them was going very well. After following this advice, his schedule started to appear.

Once your baby is on a consistent schedule all that horrible stuff from the beginning seems to fade from your memory – life is good. You enjoy those long naps and feel good that you know when your baby is hungry and understand what they need. Schedules are like a breath of fresh air, you now feel like this baby thing is easy and that you’ve got it down pat.

After we spend so much time in that first year setting up and sticking to a schedule we begin to kind of obsess about it and when something comes up that may interrupt it, we let it pass by as it could upset our so-called equilibrium. I found myself guilty of this, declining playdates because they interrupted with the nap and I thought that this was not only bad for the baby, but I was then losing out on my 2 hour break as well (kind of selfish – but hey we have to think about ourselves once in awhile).

It wasn’t until I was just away visiting my family for two weeks that I realized I was being a bit silly, that diverting from the schedule might actually be somewhat good for my little guy. Now, I am not saying that you should do this every day, but once in awhile, for important events, it might be ok to let him nap in the car on your way, or nap early, or even not nap at all. As long as they are getting some sleep and are happy – what else matters? In reality, children need to learn how to adapt to changes and be flexible and perhaps those of us who are so stuck on schedules may actually be hurting our children in the end? Who knows? I just know that I am going to try to not be so rigid in our scheduling and try to go with the flow a little more often.

Guest Blogger: Erin Ryan