From the moment you get pregnant, people have preconceived notions of what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Scratch that, from the moment you start trying to get pregnant, people have preconceived notions of what you should be doing.
I’m not even talking about what you believe; I’m talking about what other people believe is right for you. I’m here to tell you, all you need is a filter, something to allow you to pick out the advice that you want to follow.
It’s hard. Everyone has an opinion and suddenly, when you are pregnant, everyone feels the need to share their opinion with you. FILTER.
Here is what I can tell you; the choices you make are yours and yours alone to make. If you choose to drink tea during pregnancy and someone 'tsk tsks' you, you tell them to step off. If you choose to have a 3D ultrasound and someone thinks that is creepy and weird, you tell them they don’t have to see the results... they’ll want to, no doubt.
I can also share this with you.
I have had two VERY different pregnancies, births, and babies. Like people will undoubtedly tell you, every pregnancy is different.
With my first daughter, I was nauseous in the morning and sometimes in the evening if I didn’t have enough food. With my 2nd daughter, I had zero nausea. I also had food aversions (iced tea and lettuce) with my first, and none with my second. I had lots of cravings with both.
My labour with my first was more than 12 hours long, and I chose to get the epidural. My 2nd baby came so quick (1 hr, 45 min.) that I couldn’t have the epidural despite the fact that I was begging for it!
This next bit is not advice; it’s information to share with you about the differences I experienced during those two labours and deliveries. I hope it gives you some insight into a place that is a different experience for everyone who visits... the delivery room.
Labour #1: My contractions started at 11 pm... I didn’t know they were contractions. I thought I had to go to washroom. Many women have told me, they too thought their early contractions were gas pain. At 7 am I went straight to the hospital. My labour started getting intense and hard at about 2:30 and I had the epidural at 3 pm. Baby was born at 6:07 that evening. I felt no pain.
Labour #2: 11 pm, on my way to bed, and I thought I peed my pants... just a little. I knew my water hadn’t broken, but feared I might be leaking, so I went to the hospital. They didn’t think I was in labour either, but after a stress test decided I was having minor contractions, so they would keep me for the night. They said “go to sleep, and we will check on things in the morning”. There was no sleep. Contractions started fast and furious at 1 am and baby was born at 2:46.
Difference #1: The length of labour. The early contractions of my 1st pregnancy were tolerable and fairly light compared with the strength of my 2nd. My 2nd labour came fast a furious and had me thinking I would never be able to make it through hours of labour. Thankfully I didn’t have to.
Difference #2: The biggest difference was the epidural. Because my 2nd labour was so quick, there was no time for an epidural. After baby #1 was born, I was frozen from the waist down. I couldn’t get out of bed to change her or even to go to the washroom. Without the epidural, I found I recovered way more quickly and was able to get up and do things for myself... including shower. Given half a chance, I would have had that epidural, but I am kind of glad things happened so quickly because now I know the difference.
I don’t know that I could do 12 hours of labour without any assistance, but the quick labour was manageable. I will also say this; you don't feel any pain with the epidural... until the freezing wears off, then you feel a little beat up.
I don’t care to tell you what to do, nor do I know what is “the right way”, I just wanted to share with you my experience and let you draw from that what you will.
Remember, you have to make the choices that are right for you.
Guest blogger Maureen Turner
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